Refund and Returns Policy

We accept returns only under the following conditions:

1. Item has not been collapsed into a singularity.
2. Proof of purchase is encoded in a Fibonacci sequence.
3. Elders of the Precision Council approve the reversal ritual.

Return shipping is the customer’s responsibility and must be performed during a waxing gibbous moon. All returned items must be sealed in a Phase-Null Envelope and accompanied by a handwritten apology.