Refund and Returns Policy

We accept returns only under the following conditions:

  1. Item has not been collapsed into a singularity.
  2. Proof of purchase is encoded in a Fibonacci sequence.
  3. Elders of the Precision Council approve the reversal ritual.

Return shipping is the customer’s responsibility and must be performed during a waxing gibbous moon. All returned items must be sealed in a Phase-Null Envelope and accompanied by a handwritten apology.

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